


Cooper's DMV Aftermath

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: The DMV's FBI (and Sometimes Criminal) Encounters [7]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Cooper has had enough, Gen, dmv adventures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 14:39:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6911278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aram came home traumatised. Ressler has developed a fear of handbags. Meanwhile, Agent Keen cost the FBI a great deal of money and Agent Navabi nearly created a major international incident. The FBI’s escapades at the DMV are not without consequences, and Cooper is the one that has been left to deal with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cooper's DMV Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are at the conclusion of the DMV series. Probably. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has read these stories, I'm glad you've been enjoying them. And thanks to [whimsicalwombat](http://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalwombat) for the constant pokes to make me finish this.

_“What were you thinking?"_

_“I was thinking that I didn’t want to sit in that dingy room for hours. I just wanted to get the job done.”_

_“I still don’t think it was a good idea.”_

_“What would you prefer I had done?”_

_“No, no, that’s not what I meant.”_

_“Well, what then?”_

_“I just… I think you did your job too well.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I think Mr. Reddington wants you to do it again.”_

Harold Cooper pulled his attention from Agents Navabi and Mojtabai who were bickering somewhere within earshot of his door and returned his gaze to the relentless man in front of him.

Raymond Reddington was probably one of the only men in the world who could unflinchingly sit in a chair in front of the desk of the Director of an FBI black site after delivering a proposition that most would take as a joke. Cooper actually stared at him for a couple of moments, unblinking in his shock, before shaking his head once in defiance.

“Are you being serious?” he asked, deciding that Reddington’s stony countenance could be hiding anything, really, and the man was incredibly difficult to read in the best of circumstances.

“Most certainly,” Red replied, leaning back slightly in his chair. His blank expression did not change, but there was a sharpness to his eyes that had Cooper wondering what exactly Reddington was wanting them to obtain this time.

Regardless, it was of no importance. Cooper wasn’t going to let it happen.

His response was as clear as it was concise. “No.”

Unfortunately, the career criminal accustomed to getting whatever he wanted did not see it in the same way. “I don’t think you understand, Harold,” he said smoothly. “There is a dangerous person on the loose—“

“There’s always a dangerous person on the loose,” Cooper interjected. “That is not a legitimate explanation for me to send one of my people—“

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Red started in the tone of voice that let Cooper know that he certainly _did not_ want to be corrected, “But I thought that the purpose of the FBI was to take as many dangerous people off the street as possible.”

“I don’t think _you_ understand,” Cooper growled. “If I send another one of my people to that place—“

“They’ve all done fine so far.”

This was the wrong thing to say.

“You think that they– they’ve all done _fine?”_

Something in Cooper’s voice must have struck a chord, because Reddington’s blank expression broke as he frowned. “They all collected the information they were sent to get, I don’t see how that could be constituted as anything but—“

“Aram came back traumatised!” Cooper exploded, slamming his hands on the desk and causing Red to lean back in surprise. “He kept muttering about numerical overlords and kept trying to tell everyone else who went there that they should fear for their sanity!”

“Well, Agent Mojtabai was never a field agent—“

“It was a public waiting room, there should be no need for field training for such an errand!" 

“Even I find it difficult to—“

“Ressler has somehow developed a fear of handbags,” Cooper continued, ignoring Reddington’s attempts at arguing. “A fear of handbags and ringtones. _A fear of handbags, ringtones and old ladies_. And God forbid anyone so much as _mention_ the word ‘fireball’—“

“Donald was not my first choice for the job.”

“Keen, then!”

“Elizabeth did well under the circumstances—“

“Agent Keen cost the Bureau a small fortune in costs for the SWAT team, not to mention the law suits—"

“Agent Ressler was the one who organised—"

“ _It does not matter_ , the point remains that my agents going into that waiting room has, with no exception, been an unmitigated disaster!”

Red paused. “Agent Navabi—“ 

“—very nearly caused a major international incident! Threatening the life of a government employee is not something that’s taken lightly, and she identified herself as Mossad! There was no reason for an armed Mossad agent to be in that waiting room—“

“That had nothing to do with me, that was entirely at Agent Navabi’s own discretion—“

“Oh I don’t believe ‘discretion’ had anything to do with it,” Cooper snarled. “The Bureau had to work hard to cover all that up and smooth things over with the government and Mossad – we were loaned an agent for catching criminals, not for waving a knife about in public spaces.”

Silence fell across the office for a moment as Cooper glowered across the desk at the no-where-near-as-intimidated-as-he-should-be criminal. Red, for his part, was still very calm, but he was beginning to understand that the situation was a little more serious than he had anticipated.

“Glen always had a flare for the dramatic,” Reddington groused. “I suppose I assumed that this was nothing more than another simple exaggeration. When he claimed his DMV had been invaded by ‘FBI goons’ I simply believed he had overreacted.”

“Then I guess you were mistaken,” Cooper said firmly. “They will not be going again.”

“I don’t suppose this has anything to do with the fact that you are the only one in the office who had not yet – ah, how did I hear Agent Navabi put it – _done your term_?”

“It has nothing to do with that!” Cooper insisted, even though a small voice in the back of his mind was whispering that yes, he really didn’t want to have to go to the DMV himself. “This is about the good of the public, and what’s best for my people.”

Red looked unconvinced, but after a moment he sighed. “Alright. You don’t want to send your people to the DMV – you do realise that you’ll be cutting yourself off from a good source of information—“

“If you want information, you can get it yourself,” Cooper snapped.

“And if the information would help an FBI case? Help put bad people away?”

Cooper paused, thinking it over. It was true that some of the information Red had received from his DMV source had helped them in a few cases in the past, and that was something that Cooper could not in good conscience dismiss.

“I can’t let you take more of my people into the DMV,” he said. Red looked as if he were about to argue, but Cooper’s smirk gave him pause.

“Glen might have reduced my waiting time, but I don’t particularly wish to wait—“

“I won’t let you take any of _my_ people,” Cooper repeated, a dangerous spark in his eye. “But… I _might_ be able to organise something with the Metro PD.”

The dangerous gleam which sparked in Reddington’s eyes had Cooper feel a stark pity for the local cops… but that did not stop him from feeling infinitely relieved that his team had been released from the oppressive burden of the DMV.

Well… at least for now.

 


End file.
